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Have you Settled? Are you a Settled man?

Chances are (and smart money would bet on) that if you found this website,  you are a Settled-Man. 

In your mind, you are a nice guy, comfortably settled into your life, you work hard and do all the right things, but your life sucks.

man looking into sunrise over city

You may see yourself as:

  • Easy going, smarter than most, on-top-of-things and in control, in touch with your feelings and able to talk about them at length.
  • You are, or consider you would be, an attentive lover that is more intent on there pleasure than your own.
  • You are a giver, you give, and give, often at the expense of your own needs, feelings, health and even finances.
  • You often let others make the plans deciding what to do, where to go or where and what to eat or you seek consensus before stating your own desires because after all that is cooperation at its best.
  • You consider “No” an offensive word if someone asks for help.
  • You are so in tune with others you can see their problems and even have solutions, most of the time you can even offer advice or fixes without even having to be being asked…

That’s how you see yourself, a nice integrated and settled guy…

It is a weak man who blames his failures on the strength of others”  ~ Orson Scott Card

How others probably see you:

  • Easy Going – You are passive or lazy and not engaged with life around you.
  • Smarter Than Most – You are aloof and not connected; you do not honestly listen to others views and openly consider them, so they avoid asking your advice.
  • On-Top-Of-Things and in control – You hide your flaws and mistakes, you seek to control others and how they feel or see you.
  • You are in touch with your feelings and are able to talk about them at length – You wear your heart on your sleeve and seek approval for every little boo boo. You are exhausting to be around and are all talk, no action.
  • Great Lover – You micromanage sexual encounters and get stuck in routine. You are boring in the sack and your anxiety is off-putting.
  • You are a Giver regardless of the personal cost – You are needy and try to put people in a position of being in-debt to you so that they give you the things you want but can’t ask for. Oh and you are needy? Usually passive aggressive too! Did I mention people see you as NEEDY?
  • You defer to let others plan – You are a follower, a Beta Male and are afraid of conflict and are a poor communicator in expressing your wants and desires, If you do find your balls to express yourself, you are weak and waffle easily.
  • You Can’t Say No – You avoid conflict and feel your opinions don’t matter to others. You are a doormat that people dump shit work on.
  • You are in tune with others and have ways to help – You are a caretaker and again would rather make people be in-debt to you in order to get what you want. Probably also, seen as someone who comes armed with a sack of rocks and finds faults in others without dealing with their own glass house first.




This is how modern society has raised us, encouraged us, rewarded us and told us how to be men. They are wrong!

You aren’t broken, but you do need work. The good news is everything you need to change, is already within you, you just need to realize this through work on yourself, making adjustments and decisions you have been putting off.

You must change your life and move from being a Settled-Man to an becoming an Unsettled-Man.

Unsettled, as in no longer just settling for less than you deserve.

If you’re ready, my plan for changing the direction of your life and becoming unsettled and happy.

Still not sold?  Check out our posts on realizing you are being less than you can be.